I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
