I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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