Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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