I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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