Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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