Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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