your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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