He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
