flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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