If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
