Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Even my vagina gasped.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
