is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
