how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
