I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
