Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
