...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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