So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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