Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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