i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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