5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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