you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
