i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
