Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
