summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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