you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
