"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
