Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
