I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
