i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
