i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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