I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
