Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
