Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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