it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
