Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
