"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
