yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
