im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
