Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
