I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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