And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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