Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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