Say something about gay babies.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
