What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
