i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
