And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
