she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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