Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
