Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
