Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
