he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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